Book Gallery

Author Brianna Johnson's Books

Books are currently available at Arbitrary Art and now online via amazon. Link below for purchasing online.

Framed

Framed 2

Framed 3

The Book Club Killer: A Chapter Left Behind

Seven Shots

The Book Club Killer 2: Secrets Left Behind

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The Art of Writing

20 Jul 2022

Dignity in life and death

Dying with dignity.

Oh the amount of power that sentence holds. First let me start by saying if you’re reading this… this blog is a place to clear my mind, to get my words out on paper (or screen), to think out loud, and in turn maybe you will take away something from this. With that being said.. lets begin.

Recently I’ve pushed through my life with the fast forward button held down. This wasn’t intentional at all. Of course, we all know what its like to look down one second and then look up and six months has passed. This was the case for me. I looked down and when I finally looked up, years had gone by. A nagging feeling kept tugging at my heart. I needed to slow down and check on myself. It was then, when I finally looked into my healthy, that I caught a glimpse of death knocking at my door. Through test and such, I’ve been contemplated with choices to make for my future. None of these options came without consequence. Anyway, pushing past all the boring details… It was decision time. Ill explain my two options and then explain why I made the choice I did. (there is a point to this blog I promise).

It came down to, A. have the surgery or B. don’t.. Yes its more complicated than just that. (isn’t it always lol).

I chose option B.

My whole life has been filed with surgeries, health problems, hospital stays, and feeling like a science project. My surgery list is long and is turning into a resume. In short, I’m done being a lab rat and feeling like I never get any where after surgeries. I’m tired of putting my family and friends through worried times. I’m done with the pain and planning. I’m done with the time consumed by my health and letting it hold me back.

I’m choosing quality over quantity, and for some that’s hard to understand. For some, they see it as giving up, not fighting, or being selfish. For me, its choosing a different path. I’m choosing life. I’m choosing my family, my kids, my friends, and happiness. No one knows how much time you’re truly given on this earth and the same will be said for me. No doctor will give me a date that ill be satisfied with and ill be the stubborn mule that will try to prove them wrong. The point is… I’m not sure if I have ten years, twenty years, ten days, or what… what I do know is, I have the rest of my life to be happy.

I don’t want to spend any more of my time with surgeries, hospital stays, or being miserable. I’m going to jump out of a plane, push my toes in the sand while my kids run on the beach, hike a few mountains, kayak with my best friends, love on my hubby, walk bare foot on the grass, laugh a little harder, and smile more than ever. I’m going to make the most of it all and I’m going to go out of this life with dignity. So when my time comes… please read this and know… In my heart I’ve made the right choice and I wouldn’t change it for the world. I will leave an impact on this world. Ill put my stamp on everything I can. Ill change the hearts of many and spread my good karma as far as I can. I want people to smile, not cry, when they think of me.

If you ever have a family member make the same choice, please hear them out and know their decision didn’t come lightly. Know that they aren’t giving up or not fighting. They aren’t selfish. They are choosing a different path and all they want is you to be there, so they don’t walk it alone. A friend recently told me, “on your headstone it reads your name, the day you die, and the day you’re born. None of those things matter… the dash in the middle of those dates, its what matters.” I’m going to make one hell of a dash.

-living with dignity-

Brianna Johnson